Kak Yong writes: Another Ahad at home...

I see KakNgah has been very active with the blog posting. Tak boleh kalah ni (kan dah bercampur aduk bahasa ibunda n ayahanda muahahha). The thing about writing is that although there are many things to talk about, you always hope to write about things that matter, and to write in a worthwhile way. Many a time I sat down and start typing away. Halfway through, I will be thinking, does this matter? Is it worth writing? And would this be embarrassing? After all, going around blog-walking (as suggested by KakNgah), I saw many impressive entries, about matters that matter (as well as writings that better off the net). I would go, "Cool, wonder when can I write like that?" But then again, I just kept imagining myself writing, rather than actually doing it. So impian hanya tinggal impian...Hello, back to reality, I am supposed to produce around 60,000 words for my dissertation, how am I going to do that if I am scared of writing? Or rather scared of the result of the writing? Like when I write an article related to my research, will it be good enough? Won't people just reject it? Fear. It is like a worm eating away at you from the inside.

Fear is such a strong emotion, and it can control us and prevent us from fulfilling our potential.

Often procrastination grows out of fear, even a subtle kind of fear that may be hidden deep within us. So perhaps, try ignoring the procrastination for a short time and think about what you are afraid of; what is making you hesitate. If you can identify your fear, that is the first step. Next, is to remember that fear is often an illusion; something we have constructed for ourselves based on our self image or people’s perceptions of us. If you can manage to decipher the fear then look at it objectively. This can only be done if you turn to Allah for help. Needless to say, it requires a lot of prayer and soul searching, while trusting that Allah is always there. (Source)

It is called the ostrich syndrome.

Yes, it is fear actually, that keeps you from doing many things in your life. You are afraid to do something for the fear of not meeting the standard, yours or anyone else, or that people may said something negative about it. Because of that fear, you keep putting off those many things. You end up procrastinating, you will do something else, just to keep busy, deluding yourself that you are doing something, not just laying around. But the thing that should have been in your priority list? That one is not done. But because you have to do it anyway, you will still do it, but at the last minute and the quality will not be the same as if you had it done earlier. Some people will say, "I am a last minute person, even if I started early, I won't be able to do it well. If it's last minute, the idea will start coming in and voila! Look at the results. Sure, it may be last minute, but it's awesome..." Sure there are some people like that, but the ideas start coming in at the last minute because you force it to, you are desperate actually, so the brain starts working really hard. In the end, it becomes a habit, the brain working away when you are under pressure. A habit is something that you acquire over a period of time, something that becomes natural to you. You can say many things to yourself, to make yourself feel better, but in reality you are running away rather than fight. Or you just pretend that everything is fine, rather than facing it.

So it is time to really start writing properly. Sincerely and with the right intention too. Not just here, but for my studies as well. I must be confident about it. Where does confidence comes from? "It comes from within yourself", as Dr. Rosey once said. It comes from knowing who are, and being proud of it. Do you know who you are and why you are here? Why Allah put you here, rather than anywhere else? Of all the choices in life, you had made the ones that lead you here. So what are you going to do? When the going gets tough, do you hide like the ostrich? Or do you move on forward? Whatever that might happened in the future, just remember, in the end it will happen anyway. It's just how you face it that is the making of you. With the conscious decision or with the feeling that you had no choice?

Walk on, yes, you are uncertain, but believe in Allah swt, you can make it.