Writing Words Worth Reading...

   There are usually two sides to everything. To a piece of paper. To an empty plate. To a person.

   Sometimes there are more than just two.

   You may choose to look at only one side. You may choose to look at all. Or you may choose to simply walk away. If you stay, I thank you.

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   [Warning: This entry, once again, contains a lot of words. Even more than the last. Only read if you like reading. And you may comment if you find that my words were worth your effort in reading and my effort in writing them. Use as many words as you like. I do not mind. Thank you.]

   KakNgah here.

   It's been a few days since I last posted anything. Hmmm... am I getting tired of it? Definitely not. I'm probably just too busy dreaming or doing other things to actually sit down and write something worth writing.

   That's it. Writing something worth to be written. My dilemma these few days. Perhaps I should explain.

   I've spent quite a lot of time visiting blogs here and there. Some of the ones I found were such gems- entries written so beautifully that you can feel how earnest the writer was when she/he wrote it. Some were very beneficial- perhaps a little stiff but full of information nevertheless. Some were full of humour, both good and bad. I found myself tickled silly at the clever little ways that some people have in writing. I could probably not do that very well. Some blogs were full of life. Hardships, problems and dilemmas- not to forget rejoicing, happiness and warmth.

   Those were the good ones. The ones I could learn from. The ones who made me feel that it's worthwhile going blogwalking just to come across such delicious pieces of writing.

   I've had my share of coming across the bad ones. People who are good writers, but who forget that words (as I have once written somewhere), are powerful, non-living beings that affect anyone who encounters them in the most surprising ways. We forget, that these black, lifeless things on white backgrounds (you may think of other colours, for I am speaking quite generally) can come to life and either touch the hearts of the people they meet, or twiSt them. It is quite true, for this is what I have experienced.

   It saddens me to see how some people can be so shallow-minded when they write. I am no judge, perhaps, but I do read a lot, and one can differentiate quite easily between people who write because it means a lot to them, and those who only seek to poison other people's minds. Oh, I am not talking about those who rage and run amok in their little online worlds, spouting fire and vengeance- ranting at the world in general. I understand. I get angry too. And for some, writing helps throw off the steam. I get it. Though I do advice a little caution. Be angry, but know your limits.

   What I am referring to is actually those who look at life as if it is a mere playground. A place to have fun and forget all their troubles in the world. Forget those aims and goals. What is the purpose of life anyway? Everyone will surely die in the end, and who knows what will come after? Oh, if only these words (or the essence of it) came from non-believers, I would perhaps not feel as bitter!

   Yet these are people who claim to be believers. They claim to be Muslims, to be more precise. Yet they exhibit words and not to forget pictures, that leave people who read their entries wondering, are these people really who they claim to be? "I am a Muslim woman , they say." "Oh people who say bad things about Islam anger me!" "How can others NOT believe that Islam is the true din?"

   Look at yourselves, ladies. Look at yourselves gentlemen. Do you carry yourselves as Muslims should? Do your photos portray how Muslims are like? You claim to wear the tudung, but you wear them with your nighties. Is it a wonder that other people look at Muslims the way they do nowadays?

   I am not perfect either. How can anyone possible be?

   I have made a lot of mistakes myself. Been drowned in a dream world, knowing that nothing there is real but letting myself drown anyway. I know. I know what it feels like to be carried away by worldly temptations. And I still face these challenges. It has been an uphill battle.

   Look at me. I started off meaning to write about something else, but here I am, ranting on and on nothing in general. Nothing? Oh I do not know, perhaps those who read this can judge.

   What I meant to say from the very beginning is, I want to write words worth reading. I want to write words that can capture and captivate people's hearts. I want to write words that can move people to want to be good and do good things. I want to write words that can help people remember Islam. I want a lot, don't I? Perhaps too much, even.

   Perhaps that is why I have been holding off posting new entries. There are so many things on my mind, so many things that I want to write about that it makes me feel dizzy. Yet, at the same time, it makes me afraid. I do not want to merely write, just for the sake of posting something. But I am afraid that if I stop writing, I may never take up the pen again (or in this context, touch the keyboards again).

   I know that I should not let fear take hold of me.

   Oh, what is the matter with me? Perhaps the thought of having to leave home is making me frantic and stopping me from writing sensibly. It is only six days more that I have until I leave. It is only a few weeks more until I enter that new 'adult' world. Being looked up to be children, if they look up to me at all. Being the centre of attention in front of a large group (though perhaps not so large in my case). Being assessed and tested. Being with other people again...

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   There are usually two sides to everything. To a person.

   Sometimes even more.

   This is the bright and cheerful side. I guess.

   Hallo. Did you just come from that gloomy world up there? Oh well. Just your luck, I guess. Really do not know what's the matter with her. Let her be.

   Let's read about me, shall we? I've actually a few entries which are patiently bidding their time to be released into the online world. However, I have not quite finished writing in each one, so perhaps these few pictures can  you occupied for now:

You're laughing as you look at these. Stop.

You're laughing again. Please don't.

Ah, that's more like it.

My crowning glory!

   As you can see, they're all about my baking adventure, which is probably why that gloomy girl up there has been doubtful about posting. She wishes this blog to be well-balanced between Islamic materials, baking adventures and life experiences. Perhaps she's right. Personally, I think she just thinks too much... uses up her time thinking rather than writing. Well, she'll come around and hopefully these pending entries (and other ones) will make their appearance.

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   Just though I'd clear up some things. Of course, it's rather doubtful that anyone even came down this far to read this, but I'm writing anyway.

   I know that The World We Live In does not have that many readers. It's quite doubtful that we have any silent readers even (and I am not quite to dream about that. Too much dreaming can be quite harmful). And as you can see, it has only been KakNgah during these last few weeks (a statement which I have been repeating over and over again). I wish KakYong and KakCik were here. It gets pretty lonely. 

   However, no need to brood over that. I'm sure they'll come soon.

  What I wanted to say was that although we do not have many followers, we (as of now, 'we' probably refers to KakNgah), we appreciate every single one who are. In fact, KakNgah has come to regard them as friends. I do not know how often they visit here, but I certainly visit their little worlds often. 

   Sometimes I leave comments. In fact, I'd like to comment on every entry they put up, because I love it when people comment on my entries, but perhaps that feeling does not reply to everyone. So I try to restrain myself from making too much comments. Just read, KakNgah. Just read. Only comment when you have anything worthy of writing.

   Apart from following our followers, I also follow other blogs. Quite a number, in fact. Two or three I follow because they belong to people I know, but others I do because I like them. I mostly do so silently. It does not matter that these people do not know that I exist. I read their entries because I like them. I leave comments because I feel their entries worth commenting, not because I want them to click on my name and see who I am. No. That is the truth. If anyone does come and visit this little world of ours, then alhamdulillah. Thank you. If you take the liberty of following our stories, whether officially or silently, I thank you. Thank you.

   I refrain rather, from following blogs belonging to male bloggers. Perhaps there are one or two, but that's about it. Call it ego, I do not know. There are some very good male bloggers out there, but I only visit silently. Sorry guys. You've already got hundred of followers anyway, so what difference would our following you make? Perhaps this will change later. Who knows?

   I have also not listed any favourite blogs. As I have said in that little note at the top of the page, I don't own the right to do so. I'm sorry if this is wrong in the blogging world. I truly do not know. But perhaps I can make a list titled 'Blogs KakNgah likes.' Maybe!

   Thank you, by the way, to http://reminderformenyou.blogspot.com for listing our blog under your 'teman's or friends. Perhaps you do it for everyone, but this little gesture means a lot to me! Thank you!

   Thank you. Alhamdulillah. That is all I can offer.

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   I wonder. Should I turn this into three entries rather than just one? It is dreadfully long.

   Oh well.

   Allah knows best. Wallahua'lam.